Related Message
The 24/7 blog that we've called Resources is intended to be a multifaceted exploration of the Christian life. It is a place where we expand the conversation about what God is doing in our lives and in our community, and further reflect on what it looks like to live a life of full devotion to Christ, 24/7. This post is by Ron Esau, a longtime Southridge member and Bible teacher in a variety of contexts.
The question raised in the video prior to Sundays message, “Why should we get married when we are in this loving relationship and are committed to each other?” appears to have some validity. Pondering this question sent me to the Internet to Google the term “Marriage why is it important”. The results were somewhat interesting.
The CBC Network website posted an article “Is marriage still important”. The majority of the posting revolved around statistics but the comments posted to the article were a microcosm of what society thinks. Here is a sampling of the comments:
- I don't know if I’d want to partake in a ceremony that seems to be a big joke for nearly half the people who've done it. There are probably better ways to tell someone you're committed to them.
- I'm neither pro, nor against marriage, but cannot understand the "importance" of preserving this institution?
- There can be a strong impulse to want to be in love. My husband and I were together 5 years before we got married. You have to be honest and really get to know your partner before you commit, also endure some genuine hardships. Both children of divorced families, we'll see what the future holds for us.
In another article referencing a research project that resulted in “Ten Important Research Findings on Marriage” By David Popenoe, Ph.D., Rutgers University, one of the findings is; living together before marriage has not proved useful as a “trial marriage”. The article elaborated on the finding: People who have multiple cohabiting relationships before marriage are more likely to experience marital conflict, marital unhappiness and eventual divorce than people who do not cohabit before marriage. Researchers attribute some but not all of these differences to the characteristics of people who cohabit, the so-called “selection effect”, rather than to the experience of cohabiting itself. It has been suggested that the negative effects of cohabitation on future marital success may diminish as living together becomes a common experience. However, according to one study of couples who were married between 1981 and 1997, the negative effects persist among younger cohorts, supporting the view that the cohabitation experience itself contributes to problems in marriage.
Even society finds that tryst relationships may seem like a good idea at the outset, but they have their own set of problems. It was interesting that the online survey at the CBC site (non-scientific) indicated that 63% of the 2300 people who voted believed in the institution of marriage. A survey done in the United States indicated that 78% believed in marriage. All these findings, though interesting, do not really mean much when God is excluded from the equation. One of the commenters on the CBC report had it right; God invented marriage. So marriage, in this context, is only for those who believe in God. If we hold up marriage in the regard that it was invented, then we might have better success with it. It is a covenant, not an agreement. It is a life promise, not a casual conversation. It is a magnificent relationship, designed and blessed by our Heavenly Father. And it fits with Biblical scripture, and observed as described in God's Word, it is the most beautiful thing in the universe. My life relationship (marriage) is now heading towards 25 years, and I will devote myself to God and to my wife for as long as we both shall live. I made that promise, and I take it seriously.
As we heard on Sunday, God’s plan is, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one (Ephesians 5:31-32 (NLT)). The marriage relationship is something very special. When we consider it as an illustration of Christ and the church, we see love in the most outstanding form. Christ loved us so much; he gave all for us when we were still sinners. He was completely selfless in his love for you and me.
Because Christ loved us as sinners, he has given us this example and we are to love the same way with other sinners. Yes, we are all sinners and make mistakes. Jesus gave us great illustrations on those who have made mistakes.
Take the example of the woman who was caught in adultery (John 8) and was brought to Jesus by the religious leaders because the law stated she should be stoned. Christ’s response is simple; “let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” They all disappear and Jesus asks her, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
There is no warning, no chastising only compassion.
Let’s look at another illustration of this “mystery” in John 4. As Jesus was passing through Samaria, he meets a woman at a well. He knows her life story and that she had five husbands and is living with another and lets her know that he knows all about her. What does He do? He does not condemn her by pointing that finger and telling her that she is living in great sin, but instead offers her the "Living Water”, himself, as the true Messiah. Again, there was no condemnation, only compassion. The result is the woman spreading the word about Jesus and many Samaritans become followers of Christ.
That is the mystery of marriage and the illustration of Jesus and the church that is you and I. What an example we have.
